Frank job interview conversation that did not happen today.
I’ve paraphrased a job interview I had today by rephrasing the interview in frank honest words. In doing so, I think I’ve managed to distill the essence of the 3 hour long interview into a few paragraphs. I suppose the first tipoff was the “job application” they sent me in response to me emailing them my resume, as requested. It was incredibly detailed, they claimed to need to know my last 15 years of work history and the last 7 years worth of former domiciles. In my defense, I’ll say that they bothered to Fed-Ex it out to me on Saturday, which gave me the impression that they were serious about the job offer.
(After about an hour of testing that proved my familiarity with a bundle of Microsoft and Adobe software…)
Interviewer: Well, you really tested well on all that software, we are really impressed.
SM: Well, I will remind you that it’s in the job description you listed.
Interviewer: It’s really nice to interview someone who has skills for a change.
SM: Yes, you asked for a set of skills in the job description, and I applied because I have them.
Interviewer: I’m also impressed with your examples of process improvement and documented customer service skills, but I have to tell you that you’re not going to use them. Neither are you going to need the skills I just tested you on.
SM: That’s really strange, because you requested that skill set.
Interviewer: Oh and even though your resume clearly shows your management experience, and even though the job description clearly has management in the title, you will actually be a trained gorilla.
SM: That’s funny, because my resume that you saw before you called me in clearly shows my experience turning lower primates into trained gorillas.
Interviewer: Yes, and you are our number one candidates as of now to not only be my new trained gorilla, but be the one out of three trained gorillas that will be lowest on the totem pole. We also can’t quite meet your salary requirements
SM: So how long will it take to make a hiring decision?
Interviewer: It’s going to take us at least two weeks to narrow down the candidates for this particular simpleton job.
Daily itzBig Links 2006-11-14 - The itzBig Blog - Serving the Unserved ? Recruiters, Job Seekers, Quiet Working Professionals Says :
[...] Standard Mischief: Frank job interview conversation that did not happen today. “(After about an hour of testing that proved my familiarity with a bundle of Microsoft and Adobe software?)Interviewer: I?m also impressed with your examples of process improvement and documented customer service skills, but I have to tell you that you?re not going to use them. Neither are you going to need the skills I just tested you on. [...]
2006-11-14 14:35 Permalink