Standard Mischief

I’ve paraphrased a job interview I had today by rephrasing the interview in frank honest words. In doing so, I think I’ve managed to distill the essence of the 3 hour long interview into a few paragraphs. I suppose the first tipoff was the “job application” they sent me in response to me emailing them my resume, as requested. It was incredibly detailed, they claimed to need to know my last 15 years of work history and the last 7 years worth of former domiciles. In my defense, I’ll say that they bothered to Fed-Ex it out to me on Saturday, which gave me the impression that they were serious about the job offer.

(After about an hour of testing that proved my familiarity with a bundle of Microsoft and Adobe software…)

Interviewer: Well, you really tested well on all that software, we are really impressed.

SM: Well, I will remind you that it’s in the job description you listed.

Interviewer: It’s really nice to interview someone who has skills for a change.

SM: Yes, you asked for a set of skills in the job description, and I applied because I have them.

Interviewer: I’m also impressed with your examples of process improvement and documented customer service skills, but I have to tell you that you’re not going to use them. Neither are you going to need the skills I just tested you on.

SM: That’s really strange, because you requested that skill set.

Interviewer: Oh and even though your resume clearly shows your management experience, and even though the job description clearly has management in the title, you will actually be a trained gorilla.

SM: That’s funny, because my resume that you saw before you called me in clearly shows my experience turning lower primates into trained gorillas.

Interviewer: Yes, and you are our number one candidates as of now to not only be my new trained gorilla, but be the one out of three trained gorillas that will be lowest on the totem pole. We also can’t quite meet your salary requirements

SM: So how long will it take to make a hiring decision?

Interviewer: It’s going to take us at least two weeks to narrow down the candidates for this particular simpleton job.

Leah asked what the big hub-bub was about the Fake boarding pass generator a few posts back (since taken down). I probably did a poor job of explaining. Let me give it another shot.

1. Let’s just say that your name was Robert “no-fly” Johnson, and you just happen to be on the “no-fly” list because someone who in the past used your name as an alias and is suspected to be a terrorist. Let’s also say that you are sick of the body cavity searches to be allowed to board a flight like the rest of humanity. What to do?

2. You go get yourself a prepaid gift Visa card, under an assumed name. You order tickets using the Visa. You also print out your boarding pass.

3. Besides printing out your boarding pass, you save that web page to your hard drive. You alter the HTML code to match your real name and print out a copy also.

4. On the day of your flight, you go through the TSA check, which consists of checking to be sure your government issued ID matches your boarding pass. You show your fake pass (with your real name) and get through. The barcode on your boarding pass is never scanned and your real name is also not checked against the TSA list at this point.

5. Before boarding, you show your real boarding pass (with the fake name). At the second check, the boarding pass is NOT checked against your real ID. Your (fake) name gets you through the “no-fly” list screening.

Results: The “no-fly” list is completely circumvented by a determined attacker (and if you are planning on running that plane into a building, I’d say you were determined), while normal law-abiding fliers are inconvenienced. Remember, this is the list that’s suppose to keep us safe. The same list that flagged Sen. Ted Kennedy. The same list that tripped up California Rep. and “no-fly” list critic Loretta Sanchez The same list that keeps those 9 month-old babies of terror off the plane

And of course, once you are on it, you can’t get yourself off it. (technically, there seems to be a “no-fly” list, which will prevent you from flying altogether, and a selectee list, which means you “randomly” always get selected for extra screening.) Over at TSA there’s suppose to be a form you can send in, but I’m getting a 404.

Again, I’d like to stress that this is not a new vulnerability, Slate covered this story on Feb. 7, 2005. Senator Schumer covered it in a press release that same month. Well over a year and no one’s fixed this yet?

(Oh and check out my new favorite blog; 27B/6.)