Won’t work, nice try though
I figured someone else would say something already, but no one has.
Sailorcurt takes up on the suggestion that we all use the Brady Campaign’s business reply envelope as a mailing label, gluing the thing to something heavy like a brick. The idea being that the Brady Bunch would have to pay more money out of their own funds to receive something useless.
It won’t work, but it’s a nice try though.
It’s really no surprise that a quasi-goverment 23rd level bureaucratic quagmire such as the United States Postal Service has a regulation to exactly cover this situation. The USPS also has regs that cover the placement of rubber bands on bulk mailing bundles of magazines and the fluorescent properties of the stock used to print postcards.
In this case one of my favorite columnists, Cecil Adams, tells me that it’s reg 917.243(b):
You could probably stuff it with newsprint, and seal it. That would cost them a few cents. You could enclose a target or two from your last range session, but that might be interpreted as a threat. Another idea from Ask Metafilter is to request a copy of their IRS Form 990. Wikipedia says:
You know, if you really want to cost a non-profit some coin, you could take an old fax modem, a standard analog phone line, and a computer and fax in your requests for those IRS form 990 from those non-profits. I think there’s some ad supported web-to-fax services out there too. It would probably take an army of clones to make a serious dent in their finances, but I suppose every little bit helps.
Please be aware that POSTNET, the current postal barcode is being phased out for the Intelligent Mail Barcode (to be required in 2009). Intelligent Mail Barcodes encode both the mailing and return address and if it was used on business reply envelopes (I’m not 100% on the regs, so I’m not sure) would probably allow that brick to be traced back to you.
SayUncle » No on teh funny Says :
[...] Turns out, you can’t mail a brick. [...]
2008-04-30 09:19 Permalinkkarrde Says :
I’ve heard of people emptying a drawer full of metal washers into one of them business-reply-envelopes, sealing it shut, and sending it…
Not quite a brick, but at least half a pound of steel rolling around inside the envelope.
And the post office charges by the ounce.
2008-04-30 09:36 PermalinkGregory Morris Says :
“stuff it with newsprint”… well, sand would probably work too. Won’t cost as much as a brick, but its heavier than paper.
Just make dang sure it looks like sand, and not an unidentified “white powder”, or you’ll be in a heap of trouble.
2008-04-30 09:39 PermalinkMikee Says :
A Georgia Tech grad student of my acquaintance used to place one slice of Kraft sliced sandwich cheese in the return envelopes to avoid being over the weight limit. His hope was that the recipient used an automated mail opener, and that the cheese might gum up the works.
He also wore a tinfoil hat on certain occasions, and yes I have photos of this, so take this anecdote for what it is worth.
2008-04-30 11:44 PermalinkStandard Mischief Says :
So it’s got to be heavy enough to incur extra charges, but not so heavy that it gets discarded as obvious waste.
I’d also suggest scanning in and then printing the reply envelope on a bunch of clone envelopes, but that might be abuse/illegal/something bad.
2008-04-30 11:56 PermalinkSilence DuGood Says :
Last time the spirit moved me, I sent them a flier for Omaha Steaks, thus dealing with two pieces of junk mail at the same time.
2008-04-30 16:25 PermalinkJohn Hardin Says :
Sheet lead.
2008-04-30 21:44 PermalinkDJK Says :
I take the other crap I get from the other mass mailers….credit card apps, etc… stuff them in and send away.
When a credit card sends me an app with a return envelope and a bunch of leaflets or brochures….I just send it all right back to them in their envelope.
Tee hee hee
2008-05-01 00:05 Permalink